Tweeze, dye and feel pretty

I’ve read in some well-meaning parenting magazines that the secret to looking fresh and awesome despite sleep-deprivation lies in a “quick” makeup routine that is five times more involved than what I would do before going to a party. Thanks but no thanks.

I give you two images to consider. First, this is me immediately after childbirth:

Me, after 44 hours of childbirth


Next, this is me after having my eyebrows and eyelashes “done” by a professional:

This is me, hella pregnant, with my eyebrows did. (To be fair, this chick will look like crap after delivery, too.)


Next time, I vow to have my eyebrows and eyelashes done before labor and delivery so that I can look just a tad bit more awake during any pictures that may be taken. This is probably more a red-head and blonde issue, so you dark hair or dark-skinned beauty queens can feel free to ignore me.

My suggestion for you is that you schedule this as part of your birth plan (contractions 5 minutes apart, hit the eyebrow salon!) or take one of your few, brief outings away from the baby to have the professionals dye you a makeup job. Tint those lashes, dye and shape the brows, go even crazier if you want (watch out for those hormones though — you may hate it!). This is far more efficient than daily make up application and allows the truly lazy among us to look somewhat put together with little effort.

Then, just grab some tinted lip balm and you’re ready to leave the house. Just wait for those compliments to start rolling in (“have you lost weight?” and “motherhood really agrees with you” maybe). 🙂

If the feminist inside you is repulsed by this suggestion, simply move on to the next activity suggestion. I won’t be hurt.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *